Nervousness
by Miss Katyana
Summary: Len gets nervous before a concert and Kaito tries to help him. Please give this story a try! It's better than the summary.


Kaito x Len (shonen ai)

_AN: this is my first fanfiction. so please kindly review. arigato gonzaimas! _

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own vocaloid..._

Kagamine Len felt his heart beating faster than he had ever felt in his small chest. He ran a shaky hand through his blonde hair anxiously before betting up and pacing around the dressing room backstage. He ruffled his hair again, nearly upsetting his small ponytail.

It wasn't like Len to be so nervous before a concert but Len had suddenly come down with a bad case of nerves just before his turn to sing. Outside, music was pulsing, a second heartbeat of his own. He moaned, wondering if he could just shut the backstage door and block out the whole world outside. Everyone outside was expecting him to sing but Len wasn't ready. He didn't understand why he was so nervous. It just happened and all of a sudden, Len just wanted to go home and hide under his bed like when he was a little kid. Some days were like that, but Len couldn't bail out now. He had a concert to attend

Len closed his eyes and sank down on the ground, leaning against the cool cement wall. He could hear Miku and Rin's voices mingling together in their duet. The crowd was going crazy and Len couldn't really blame them. After all, he knew that his twin sister's voice was far better than his anyway. Whenever she opened her mouth to sing, people would stop and stare in awe as if they couldn't believe that such sweet, melodious vocals could come from a person's throat.

Len wondered if his own singing had the same effect. He had always loved to sing and he just wanted his voice to make people happy, just like the rest of his vocaloid allies. They were all different from each other but were united for their love for music and their stunning voices. Singing was Len's life and he couldn't imagine going without it.

Miku and Rin were reaching their chorus. Len felt his heart beat even faster, almost like a time bomb ready to explode. He tried practicing the deep breathing techniques Rin had taught him. _Darn, they didn't work at all_. Len took a shaky breath and drew his knees up to his chest, feeling a new wave of anxiety slam into him. He felt like he was about to cry right there on the spot and there was nobody to help him or at least give him some support.

He was going to be such a nervous wreck on stage. Len closed his eyes just as the first tears began to fall…

"Len?"

A clear calm voice echoed across the room and Len instantly looked up. He saw a tall, blue-haired figure standing in front of him; Kaito. Len felt his face grow a warm shade of red. He hoped that the older guy had not seen him sobbing like a little kid but it was too late. Kaito had crossed the room in long, easy strides and was crouching in front of Len. His sky-blue eyes were filled with concern and he reached forward to cup Len's face in his gentle hands.

"Wait…why are you crying, Len? Are you hurt?"

Len loved Kaito's voice. He loved hearing him talk, seeing his lips shape his words so beautifully that they could almost paint pictures in the air. When he sang, his music gave paper birds flight and could give colour even to the dullest painting. He sang to heal, calm, restore and just bring joy to everyone else. Len had always admired Kaito and thought of him as a big brother.

Len quickly rubbed his eyes and mumbled, "No, I'm not hurt…it's just that…" he felt his voice catch again. How could he tell Kaito about his fears and nerves before a concert? It sounded childish and Len had always tried his best to appear matured around Kaito.

"Just what, Len?" the older man murmured kindly. He brushed away a tear clinging to Len's eyelashes with his thumb. Kaito kneeled down in front of Len and lowered his face until his eyes were level with the younger boy. He tilted Len's chin up and frowned quizzically.

Len took a deep breath. "Nii-san, have you ever been…s-scared before a concert?"

Kaito smiled slightly and said, "Oh, is that what you're worried about?" Len, nodded humiliated. But Kaito didn't laugh at him. Instead he simply said, "Maybe you just need…I don't know, a hug? To make you less tense?"

Len blinked his big, aquamarine eyes as Kaito opened his arms wide for Len. He smiled sincerely and said thoughtfully, "As far as I know, hugs always make people feel better again." Len hesitated at first but he let Kaito enfold him into a tight hug anyway. Len felt so close to the older man right then with his arms wrapped around his waist and his cheek pressed against Kaito's soft scarf. Kaito's hands stroked Len's sunshine-gold hair gently. It felt so nice being alone together with someone other than his sister for once. Len could feel Kaito's steady heartbeat pulsing in time with his own. At that moment, the world around Len seemed to fade away and the music in the background vanished. All he could hear was Kaito's breathing and heartbeat. Len closed his eyes tightly, trying to capture everything in his mind before it disappeared. He wanted to remember everything, from Kaito's gentle smile to his comforting embrace and the way the backstage lights lit up his blue hair.

Then, Kaito lifted Len's chin with a gentle finger and said, "It's ok to feel nervous. I guess even I feel nervous before really big performances but it helps me to perform better. No crying anymore, ok? The audience wouldn't like that… And can you manage a smile for me?"

Len slowly turned the corners of his mouth up into a shy smile.

Kaito chuckled. "That's better. And when you're out there, just sing from your heart. You need to believe in yourself. If you do that, you wouldn't stumble over words or drop a tune. After all, you sing not only to give joy to others but to you own soul too, right?"

Len nodded, grinning. He felt his worries slip away so easily when he was with Kaito. He took a couple of deep breaths just when they heard Miku and Rin finish their song. The crowd went crazy with cheering and clapping. Len thought he heard them chanting his sister's name over and over again. They must really love her.

Kaito helped Len to his feet but he held onto Len's small hand. It felt cold in his grasp but he didn't let go.

"Oh, and one more thing. If you like, you can imagine yourself singing for only one person, just that one person who means a lot to you. I bet you have someone who is such an important part of your life. Imagine singing for only that person and not the entire world. You'll do fine, Len. I promise," Kaito gave Len's hand a warm squeeze before letting go.

"Thank you, nii-san. Thank you!" Len couldn't stop thanking Kaito. He was just so nice to him!

Kaito just smiled and before Len could go onstage, he leaned forward suddenly and kissed him on the forehead, allowing his gentle lips to linger there for a few very long seconds that Len would treasure forever.

"Good luck, Len."

Then Len was walking out on stage where he was greeted with the roar of the crowd and the blinding spotlights that caused dots of colour to dance before his eyes. Len felt his knees grow weak slightly when he saw the sheer amount of people watching him. They were more like an immense wave of faces, hands and screaming mouths. But Len remembered Kaito's words and his kiss. The memory of Kaito's mouth on his skin immediately caused Len to feel even more light-headed but an excited flush rose up in his cheeks. He felt a huge smile spreading on his face as his song came on. His tense grip on the microphone slowly relaxed.

Len closed his eyes briefly, imagining the whole audience disappearing and there was only one person who really mattered the most sitting alone in front of the stage, listening to him. Len focused hard on the person's face before opening his eyes again and bursting into the first joyful lines of his song, smiling. He felt better than he had ever been in his life.

_Kaito nii-san, this song is for you._


End file.
